“Who’s there!” The tapping of light footfalls on the weathered
wood floor echoed in the dark hallway. Eldric gazed into the shadowy abyss,
searching for movement. The tapping stopped. Eldric’s heart pounded in his
chest, his breath caught in his throat. Nothing moved; he heard no noise other
than the patting of the night rain on the window. Eldric released his breath
and relaxed. He turned around and continued down the hall toward the main
entrance of the Usher mansion. The moonlight cast long, thin shadows of dead trees
through the windows and along the carpet. Eldric stared through the window at
the horizon. Lighting flashed ominously through the dark storm clouds. Heavy
gusts of wind shook the old trees and battered the rotting wood planks of the
mansion. The air outside whistled past the window.
Footsteps echoed down the hallway once again. Frightened,
Eldric whipped his head back, but the butler felt relieved to see his brother,
Aldric coming toward him. “Why are you so pale?”
Eldric replied, “This wretched house haunts me! Footsteps in
the dark, and such! And this approaching storm is no help.” As in response to Eldric’s statement, lightning struck the dry
plain a mile away from the mansion, setting it on fire. Eldric stared out
through the window, wary of the fire, but Aldric dismissed it, “The storm will
put it out.”
Together, the brothers walked down the hall into the large
entrance chamber. A large dusty chandelier hung over the room, its candles put
out. Underneath, bridal stairs curved down from the second floor opposite large
arched double doors. A dark red carpet, bathed in white moonlight, lay in front
of the door. Decorative suits of armor guarded the tall pointed windows on either
side of the door, lining the hallways.
The floor upstairs creaked softly, followed by the crash of
a glass vase. The servants glanced up, startled. They met the haunted,
bloodshot eyes of Rodrick Usher, staring down at them blankly. He muttered
something under his breath, and then he shouted it at the servants, causing
them to jump. “alive… alive…
SHE’S ALIVE!”
He turned away and disappeared into the dark.
“He mourns the death of his sister. It has driven him over
the edge…”
Outside, lightning thundered, illuminating the main chamber,
but with it came a low moan. Eldric and Aldric glanced at each other; they both
heard it. The rain began to pound on the windows, and the wind outside started screaming.
The moan echoed through out the house, growing louder and higher pitched. The
floor upstairs groaned, and footsteps creaked. Aldric gasped. “It is Master Usher! He must have hurt
himself!”
“Aldric, wait—” Ignoring his brother, Aldric sprinted up the
stairs toward the loud moaning. Eldric started after him but paused to light a
lantern resting at the foot of the staircase. Aldric vanished into the darkness
upstairs. With the lantern in hand, Eldric followed. The moaning ceased.
“Aldric! Where did you go! Is everything alright?” Aldric did not respond.
Eldric creeped down a long, quiet hallway lined with doors,
listening for his brother. Thunder boomed outside and lightning lit the hallway
in a strange, faint orange glow. The wind blew stronger and louder, and with it
Eldric could faintly hear what sounded like crackling flames. “Aldric, if this is some foolish joke you’re playing, know that
it is in very, very bad taste!”
Ahead, a door lay open. Eldric, heart hammering, tiptoed
through the door into an empty room. Eldric lifted his lantern, but in the dim
light of the lantern and the dull orange light from outside he could only make
out furniture. The deluge quieted down, and the thunder stopped. Through a door
at the other end of the room, Eldric heard faint sobbing and a voice, but
neither belonged to Aldric. It sounded like Master Usher and the guest.
“…Aldric…where
did you…?”
An explosion of thunder and lightning pierced the momentary
quiet. Powerful blasts of shrieking wind shattered the glass windows across
the room, tearing through the gothic curtains. Bright red-orange light flooded
the room. Rain pelted the walls and floor, and smoke engulfed the ceiling. Blinded,
Eldric fell to his feet, coughing. Slowly, he uncovered his eyes. He dropped the lantern in horror.
A woman dressed in white with skin as pale as ash stood
across from Eldric. Long dark hair covered her face, and blood from her mouth streamed
onto her clothes. Blood covered her fingers and dripped from her torn nails down
onto the floor. Slowly, she stepped forward.
Petrified, Eldric stared fearfully. His mouth felt dry, and
his heart stopped. Tears gathered in his eyes.
She took another step, trailing cold blood behind her.
Lightning flashed through the room, and the woman released a
shrill screech, lunging toward Eldric, blood-covered claws outstretched. Eldric
screamed and scrambled back toward the door. He gained his footing and fled out
of the room, back down the hall and flung himself over the railing between the stairs. He landed
on his left foot, snapping his leg beneath his weight. Ignoring the searing
pain, Eldric fled outside, bursting through the entrance.
Fire engulfed the trees and burned through the field,
casting a forest of flame around the mansion. A severe gale drew the red-orange
blaze up into the clouds. The inferno began to swirl with the wind, creating a
flaming tornado. Lightning blasted the field and trees, leaving fiery craters. Behind him, Eldric heard screams come from the second floor
of the mansion. He turned around to see the guest crawl out of a window and
onto the balcony, but Eldric was blinded by a second flash of lightning. The roof
of the mansion exploded.
The force of the strike blasted Eldric to the ground. The mansion
caught fire and began to crumble, and furniture and splintered wood flew out of
the house into the growing cyclone, catching
fire. Eldric tried to get up, but the pain in his leg had paralyzed his lower
body. He began crawling, dragging himself along the dirt, toward the tarn, but
the grass in front of him erupted into a roaring fire. The wall of flame encircled Eldric, trapping him. Eldric tried to push through, but the heat of
the blaze forced him back.
The flaming tornado tore up trees and destroyed
the ground beneath it as it zigzagged toward the mansion. Eldric watched
helplessly as the cyclone raced in his direction, and he turned to look back at
the mansion. Half the mansion had fallen apart while the other half burned.
Eldric’s eyes bulged out in terror. Through the flames, he
could see the entrance, and out of the dark mansion came the pale woman. Eldric curled up into a ball and began to cry.
The pale woman screeched and began limping toward him.
Alternative Ending Analysis:
I tried to add more horror and thrill to "The Fall of the House of Usher." I did not get that feel in the original at all. Maybe it was the dense and old-timey language. I tried to write horror into the ending of the story. I started with a creepy setting to set the scary mood and I created a character timid in nature. A perfect combination suited for horror. Then I added tension with frightening Eldric when Aldric sneaks up on him. After that, I expanded on the creepy haunted house environment and then I tied everything together with the appearance of Usher, which both set the time frame and confirmed the setting. I threw in a fast-paced tension and then slowed it down to build up a thrill. The scene in the room brought the horror to light and then we have a heart-pounding escape. Everything goes insane, with the firey tornado and the explosion.
Speaking of which, the use of weather was extremely important for setting and plot. The story starts with night, rain, a storm, heavy moaning wind--classic horror stuff. Lightning strikes the grass, causing a fire, and this is very important in the denouement. Like in the original, the storm in my ending also aligns with the moaning of Lady Madeline. Eldric can faintly hear the crackle of flames, but he does not realize where that comes from. The storm intensifies with the tension and calms right before the big reveal. Then BOOM! Lightning, windows explode, water and hail flies in and the horror lady Samara screams. As soon as Eldric gets outside, the lightning strikes the mansion and the tornado catches fire and there are flames everywhere cutting off Eldric's escape. The flames close in on him.
Weather played an important role in the plot and setting and emotion of the story, but I also included to practical things in the plot to advance the story. The first is the lantern. I did not want Eldric to go up with his brother--I needed some space between them. So, Eldric conveniently finds a lantern at the foot of the stairs, which he takes a moment to light and then follows his brother into the darkness. Then, I had to tie up the lantern narrative (can't have any loose ends), so I had him drop it when he fell over. Eldric had broken his leg as he escaped the mansion, which is why he could not move his lower body after he was blown off by the lightning explosion, and also why he was trapped in the fire. Rather than having him trip over like in cheesy horror movies (seriously), I had him jump the railing of the stairs and snap his leg. That accomplished two things: one, it showed Eldric's desperation to get out of the mansion, and two, the injury sounds legit enough to not be able to move after a bit.
I made sure to reference the events of the original story's ending. Eldric heard screams from the second floor as he ran outside, presumably from Usher and the narrator as they see Lady Madeline. Then, he sees the narrator crawl out the window and run off before the lightning knocks him to the ground. That is where the original story ended.
Concerning Lady Madeline, all I really embellished was her demeanor, which I made more terrifying. In addition to the original bloodstained white clothes, I made her volatile yet slow, like an animal stalking its prey. I also gave her this blood-chilling scream as a cherry on top. Her last appearance shows her scream and slowly limp toward Eldric.
Only one question remains unanswered. What happened to Aldric?